Chat Box

Sonic Rob: I was listening to a podcast
Sonic Rob: Ash Bursh was saying there is feminist film crit about how Uma Thurman has to use a sword/phallus and dress like a man in Kill Bill
Sonic Rob: and I was thinking
Sonic Rob: at the end she is dressed like a woman and she beats him by catching his sword in her sheath
Sonic Rob: which is pretty goddamned vaginal
FyreHaar: you know I never saw Part II, right?
Sonic Rob: fuck you, spoiler statute of limitations is up
FyreHaar: or you do now
Sonic Rob: it’s been like 8 years
FyreHaar: oh, I’m not complaining about the spoiler
FyreHaar: and yes it’s extremely vaginal
FyreHaar: as if to truly overthrow the masculine enemy she must stop using that enemies tools and tactics
FyreHaar: and embrace her essential femininity
Sonic Rob: well, then she punches him to death

The Days Have Gone Down in the West

The writing is on the wall for my beloved Winona, as she is now struggling to run Total War: Shogun 2, a demanding but by no means unprecedented strategy title from last year. I’m sure she’ll be able to swing Portal 2 when I get around to it as well as any number of other titles; indie stuff like Bastion still glides along just fine.

It’s only a matter of time though, now. If your PC fails to run a current game at playable speeds even on lowest settings – any game not named Crysis – you’re going to need to start spending a lot more time looking at Tom’s Hardware in the near future.

I’m thinking my next PC will be named Vera.

2nd Space Marine Paid DLC Pack: The Dreadnought

Details here: http://www.spacemarine.com/blog-post/dreadnoughts-coming-warhammer-40000-space-marine

In condensed form:

$10 once again gets you three new maps (for a total of 11 if you bought the previous DLC) and a new play mode, Dreadnought Assault. In this mode two teams compete to capture a point in the middle of the map, presumably much like in Seize Ground. The team that succeeds spawns a player-controlled Dreadnought armed with an Assault Cannon, Meltagun, and giant crushy killy fist thing. It’s the closest the game has yet come to just giving players a tank. Once the dreadnought is destroyed the process begins again. It’s not clear from the press release how you go about winning this mode, although at a guess I’d reckon either kills or by summoning the Dread a certain number of times.

There’s also yet another set of skins for the outrageous price of $3 each. This time it’s Death Guard and Iron Hands, which at least should give the game artists a chance to have some fun with bionic legs, distended bellies, and so forth.

I’m sort of intrigued by all of this but I’m wondering about how the Dreadnought gets around the map. Can he smash through walls? Does he have to duck to get through doorways?

What do you think? Is anyone still playing Space Marine?

Sure, you're a 12-foot tall killing machine with a double-barreled mancannon that has a chainsaw-scythe bayonet on it, but I have AN ELECTRIC HAMMER.

Chat Box

Sonic Rob: question, btw
Fyrehaar: ??
Sonic Rob: yo, is this racist?: Leeroy Jenkins
Fyrehaar: ooohhh
Fyrehaar: good question
Sonic Rob: cause it’s funny as fuck
Sonic Rob: but the name, and the way he says it
Sonic Rob: and the chicken
Fyrehaar: well
Fyrehaar: we aren’t laughing because we don’t know Leeroy’s race, although there is an implication of blackness
Fyrehaar: we are laughing at his buddies
Fyrehaar: who do all this planning and get fucked
Sonic Rob: I dunno, Leeroy’s pretty fuckin funny too
Fyrehaar: so I would say
Fyrehaar: probably not
Fyrehaar: it’s more like, Yo, is this Geekist?
Continue reading Chat Box

Chat Box: Now With SPOILERS

Fyrehaar: dude
Fyrehaar: reviews of Dragon tattoo
Fyrehaar: that it is shallow
Fyrehaar: no connection to the characters
Fyrehaar: like, it looks good
Fyrehaar: but that is it
Sonic Rob: SF Gate review has massive, massive fucking spoilers
Sonic Rob: I get why, cause otherwise it’s so shocking you’ll fucking die
Sonic Rob: but goddammit, you can’t do that shit
Fyrehaar: they just assume everyone has read it
Fyrehaar: I feel like a lot of people who read the book didn’t get it at all
Continue reading Chat Box: Now With SPOILERS

Chat Box: Technology

Sonic Rob: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Holographic_Versatile_Disc
Sonic Rob: when is this shit coming out?
Fyrehaar: cool
Sonic Rob: they’ve had the tech for like 5 or 6 years, it’s just not at consumer price levels yet
Sonic Rob: and now with cloud and streaming, physical media may be done
Fyrehaar: yeah
Sonic Rob: it’s the saber-toothed tiger of optical disc media
Fyrehaar: rawr!!!

First Thoughts: Assassin’s Creed: Revelations Story Mode

Story-Spoiler Free.

Assassin’s Creed is starting to feel a lot like Madden NFL in a weird way. The crunchy toast of the play mechanics and user experience have been unchanged for several years now, while various marmalade-y experiments have been slathered on top of it and then scraped off in disgust or retained for next year’s bite. Revelations has pretty much everything you liked about Brotherhood in abundance, and probably has all the stuff you didn’t like lurking about as well. The stuff that’s unique to this entry is all awkward at best and sort of crap at its worst, and Revelations exudes the desperate musk of a franchise trying to justify too many releases too close together by piling on features for the sake of features.

Continue reading First Thoughts: Assassin’s Creed: Revelations Story Mode

New Space Marine Maps & Modes Announced, Corpse of Last Week’s Mode Not Cold Yet

Relic has announced a new DLC pack just days after we XBox-owning peons were finally allowed to download and then ignore the Exterminatus co-operative DLC.

Long story short, in December sometime all players get access to a new Capture the Flag gametype. Those who pay $10 for the DLC pack get a Chaos version of the Exterminatus horde-mode game, as well as 3 new maps that work for all gametypes. Also, four new multiplayer skins will be available for $3 each. Finally, 10 new achievements will be added, almost certainly all tied into the new game modes.

Capture the Flag sounds like crazy fun, since Space Marine moves so fast and the maps tend to be on the small side IMO. I haven’t played Exterminatus, so I don’t really know what to think of a Chaos version coming out. I’ve played a ton of multiplayer, though, and having the map count go up from five to eight is… well, almost worth $10 to me. I won’t be buying the skins, awesome as the Legion of the Damned one looks, as the game moves too fast for anyone to notice much about what you look like. Besides, I wear camouflage.

Guest Chat: Getting Excited About Video Games

Sig Fem Seks: Oh man
Sig Fem Seks: I’m getting excited about video games
Sig Fem Seks: Uncharted 3 and Skyrim are so close
Sonic Rob: it is true
Sonic Rob: I just started playing Catherine, so I have high hopes for that
Sig Fem Seks: I almost started Brotherhood yesterday
Sonic Rob: =(
Sig Fem Seks: but I realized that I won’t be able to finish it by the time Uncharted comes out
Sonic Rob: yeah
Sonic Rob: see, this is why being a player of new games sucks
Sonic Rob: you are beholden to release schedules
Sig Fem Seks: I’ve come to a realization that if I start a game and I don’t finish it before I start another game, I will never finish it
Sonic Rob: so don’t start the other game
Sonic Rob: I am sure there will be copies of Uncharted to buy once you are done with Brotherhood
Sig Fem Seks: No but that’s the problem
Sig Fem Seks: I have to play Uncharted ASAP
Sonic Rob: why?
Sig Fem Seks: to avoid spoilers and because I’ve been waiting for so long
Sonic Rob: hm
Sonic Rob: you know
Sonic Rob: I don’t think I wait for games
Sonic Rob: the statement “I’ve been waiting so long for this game that I must play it ASAP” has no resonance with me
Sig Fem Seks: Brotherhood is something I look forward to starting when I have nothing else to play
Sig Fem Seks: because I know it’ll be good
Sonic Rob: wait wait
Sonic Rob: you have to play Uncharted now
Sonic Rob: because you don’t know if it’ll be good?
Sig Fem Seks: Uncharted is on a different level than Brotherhood
Sig Fem Seks: I know it will be amazing
Sig Fem Seks: I know Brotherhood will be good
Sonic Rob: ok, I think I get it
Sonic Rob: you don’t want to be tied up in a good game that keeps you from starting a transcendent game
Sig Fem Seks: It’s like Christmas presents
Sig Fem Seks: My mom got me a baseball bat, BUT HOLY SHIT LOOK AT THAT BIKE OVER THERE
Continue reading Guest Chat: Getting Excited About Video Games