Unrelated Chat: This is What We Are Doing Instead of Creating Game Content

Sassy Bobcat: quick: make up funny weed-names for weed from the north pole
Thief of Dream Women: Ho Ho Humboldt
Heirophant O’Tacobell: Red-Nosed Reindank?
Thief of Dream Women: Santa Kush
Heirophant O’Tacobell: Blitzer. (too easy)
Thief of Dream Women: I’m mad I didn’t see that right away
Sonic Rob: Blow, yay, flake, candy, base
Thief of Dream Women: That’s… not weed
Heirophant O’Tacobell: That’s… that’s coke Rob.
Sonic Rob: Cause snow looks like all those things
Sonic Rob: Wait what

Guest Chat: PS4 Launch

Sig Fem Seks: This PS4 launch is kind of a mess, yeah?
Sig Fem Seks: Knack: 59
Killzone: 74
Sig Fem Seks: Pretty shaky launch
Sonic Rob: oh FUCK
Sonic Rob: I feel bad for all the shit I talked about Knack now
Sonic Rob: but anyhow, that’s only 2 games
Sig Fem Seks: That’s the two exclusives
Sig Fem Seks: But yeah
Sonic Rob: I can’t remember the last launch exclusive that was seen as a great game for the ages
Sig Fem Seks: CONDEMNED
Sig Fem Seks: CRIMINAL
Sig Fem Seks: MOTHERFUCKING
Sig Fem Seks: ORIGINS
Sonic Rob: it’s Be Nice Day, let’s be nice about this
Continue reading Guest Chat: PS4 Launch

Chat Box

FyreHaar: http://www.sfgate.com/news/crime/article/Green-paint-splattered-on-the-Lincoln-Memorial-4688315.php
FyreHaar: fucking heathens
SonicRob: in re: lincoln, paint is a valid and largely non-destructive form of protest when applied to stone
SonicRob: better than chisels or bullets
FyreHaar: yes
FyreHaar: but still
SonicRob: presuming any intended speech act, and not mere vandalism
SonicRob: mere vandalism is always deplorable

Chat Box – On Diversions

Sig Fem Seks: Oh wow, I forgot how excited I am about Destiny
Sig Fem Seks: aka Halolands
Sonic Rob: you forgot that you were not excited?
Sig Fem Seks: I forgot that I really want to play it
Sig Fem Seks: and that it exists
Sonic Rob: um
Sonic Rob: oh
Sig Fem Seks: There’s a new video out for it that I’ll need to watch at some point
Sig Fem Seks: but they’re basically talking about the MMO aspects of “All the stuff you can do when you don’t really want to do anything.”
Sig Fem Seks: Which is one thing I felt that Borderlands lacked
Sonic Rob: well, Borderlands is about shoot n loot
Sig Fem Seks: Sure
Sig Fem Seks: it’s like Diablo in that way
Sonic Rob: they don’t really water it down with crafting or anything like that
Sonic Rob: I guess my attitude is “If I don’t want to do the main thing in this game, I’ll be not playing the game”, not “I want this game to have something for me to do no matter what I feel like”
Sig Fem Seks: That’s a fair point
Sonic Rob: which is why GTA 5 maybe doesn’t excite me, now that I think of it
Sig Fem Seks: Well, the missions are the meat of that game
Sig Fem Seks: You don’t have to do anything else
Sonic Rob: I just can’t see myself thinking “man, I really like the avatar I use to steal cars and shoot stuff. I wish I could make him play golf.”

Chat Box

SonicRob: we are going to hire another dude named Rob :/
FyreHaar: then you are Original Rob!
SonicRob: R1
SonicRob: Rob’
SonicRob: This is a bad environment to go by Sonic – people will think hedgehog
FyreHaar: hmmmmm
FyreHaar: I like RobPrime
SonicRob: makes me sound like I lead the AutoRobs
FyreHaar: hell yes
SonicRob: Just a bunch of Robs that try to turn into cars
SonicRob: but we end up breaking our legs and organs
FyreHaar: awwww
SonicRob: could be worse – the Rob-Bots are unspeakable

Chat Box

FyreHaar: pronunciation question
FyreHaar: if you saw this name
FyreHaar: Lirael
FyreHaar: would you say it
FyreHaar: Leer-ayl
FyreHaar: or
FyreHaar: Leer Ay  El
SonicRob: LEER-e-ul
FyreHaar: cool
SonicRob: ?
FyreHaar: that’s what I have defaulted to
FyreHaar: it’s the book I’m reading her right now
FyreHaar: it’s about a necromancer
FyreHaar: but the good kind!
SonicRob: You mean Jesus?
FyreHaar: LOLOLOLOL
SonicRob: oh God, is that ok for a chat?
FyreHaar: I don’t know
SonicRob: hahaha
FyreHaar: it’s got religion
SonicRob: it has
FyreHaar: LOL

E3 Wrapup

Hey Fyre,

Sig and I just got back from E3, so in the spirit of Games Journalism(tm), here are some awards that I am giving for the games I saw there.

Best Game in a New IP – TITANFALL


I was never a big fan of the Modern Warfare games, and I tend away from military shooting generally, but the move into balls-to-the-wall sci fi seems to have freed the people at Respawn to create a really bonkers team shooter. The action looks fast and frenetic, the guns look weird and varied, and the whole thing looks gorgeous.

Honorable Mention – MURDERED: SOUL SUSPECT


Sig and I are going to have to agree to disagree on this one: he thinks Murdered looks linear and dull; I’m intrigued by the premise and characters. I guess we agree that it might not be that fun to play, but disagree about whether that’s a dealbreaker.

Best Game in an Existing Series – ASSASSIN’S CREED IV


A bigger world, seamless travel through all of it, a boisterously badass Kenway protagonist, smoother multiplayer and YARRR pirates everywhere. What’s not to like? Maybe it was a bit unnecessary given that I was gonna buy the game anyway, but Sig and I went to see the short trailer in the Sony theater, then the longer version in the Ubi booth, and then waited in a good long line right next door to play the multiplayer for a bit. I’m even more hyped than I would have been before – if there’s any one reason I’m thinking about buying a next-gen system it’s to play the proper version of this game and not the cut-down 360 version.

Honorable Mention – THIEF


I never played the original Thief games from Looking Glass, but all the beardy old PC gamers tell me they were the cat’s tits. The new game looks like Dishonored but with all the wacky superpowered combat trimmed out and more powers for sneaking and avoiding detection. The level we saw in the demo was titanically labyrinthine, and ended with around twenty minutes of constant explosions. Worth investigating for insanely patient stealth nuts like me.

Continue reading E3 Wrapup

Guest Chat: Fans

Sig Fem Seks: Do you ever think about how Valve must feel when they see the fanbase that TF2 has?
Sig Fem Seks: Because they’re fucking insane.
Sonic Rob: I imagine they’ve all accepted that they will be stalked and killed by a fan who loves them too much not to have a TF2 developer inside of his stomach.
Sonic Rob: you probably sign a waiver to that effect as part of hiring

A Peek Into the Mind of Sonic Rob

Doop de doo, good morning, computer. Starting you up, dum de dum*. I’m going to go get some coffee while you do that.

Ah, that’s better. Hello, work chat client. Hello, personal chat client. Hello, Outlook; go away now. Hello, web browser. Hi there Google Reader.

Oh, Google Reader. Look at you. You look so healthy right now. Nobody would ever know.

Sonic Rob pours out some coffee for his RSS aggregator.

Penny Arcade, that’s nice. Questionable Content, you’re really more of a routine than something I “enjoy”. Oh Rude Pundit, you so rude. Rock, Paper, Shotgun, argh, I’m incredibly backed up with you. Let’s clear out some articles that I’m not going to get to.

Thing about Settlers: don’t need to read. Thing about graphics cards: don’t need to read. Thing about Battlefield 3 mods: don’t need to read. Thing about PC monitor tech plateauing: open in new tab. Indie game, AAA game, MMO Beta: mlehmpgh. Dead Island 2 review: hm. News that there may be news about another XCOM game: huzzah.

“Relic Foresees ‘Strong Possibility’ Of More Dawn Of War”

*Cough* I’m sorry, who what now?

Continue reading A Peek Into the Mind of Sonic Rob

Music Chat: The Thermals “Desperate Ground”

Fyrehaar: New Thermals album
Fyrehaar: sounds so samey
Fyrehaar: wish they would play around with their sound profile
Sonic Rob: yeah 🙁
Sonic Rob: I remember the songs being a lot of the same tempo as well
Fyrehaar: there are some good lyrics in here
Fyrehaar: I just want a wider audio range
Fyrehaar: lo fi is cute and all but they did that
Fyrehaar: I want to take this and mess with it
Fyrehaar: change some tempos
Fyrehaar: like, turn one of these into a ballad
Fyrehaar: do another one as punk rock
Fyrehaar: maybe an acoustic
Fyrehaar: it just sounds like B sides from BBM
Fyrehaar: same fucking rhythm
Fyrehaar: Jesus
Fyrehaar: it’s just so unoriginal
Fyrehaar: Thermals, I am disappoint
Continue reading Music Chat: The Thermals “Desperate Ground”