Sonic Rob: if seth rogen is not fat, is he still seth rogen?
Sonic Rob: it’s like a tree falling in the forest kinda thing
FyreHaar: Seth Rogen not fat is like Seth Rogen
FyreHaar: for the ladies
FyreHaar: like, we like him when he’s schlubby and charming, but with a little more muscle definition he definitely starts to move the mercury
FyreHaar: I like skinny Seth
FyreHaar: I don’t really have any knowledge of the pre-history of the GH
FyreHaar: and I have to say that preview seems to indicate a fun summer action movie with lots of the funny
FyreHaar: and a sweet car with guns
Sonic Rob: well, it’s Michele Gondry directing
FyreHaar: OOOhhhh!
FyreHaar: Gondry!
Sonic Rob: so I expect that the movie will suck fucking donkey balls until the third act
FyreHaar: It’s got Tom Wilkinson, who is good in everything
FyreHaar: he’s like the thinking man’s Harvey Keitel
Sonic Rob: how come he never lives past the halfway point of a film?
FyreHaar: better things to do
Sonic Rob: got another movie to be in
FyreHaar: “I’m due on the West End next week, hurry it up and write me out!”
Sonic Rob: is that John Cho as Kato?
FyreHaar: I am not familiar with Harold and Kumar
FyreHaar: but I think you are correct
FyreHaar: in which case
FyreHaar: how does acting stoned translate to acting un-emotive?
Sonic Rob: nope, it is Jay Chou
Sonic Rob: Asian guys do not all look the same
Sonic Rob: just those two dudes
Sonic Rob: I’m always a little weirded out when Seth is supposed to be kicking ass
Sonic Rob: I know that anyone can kick ass in movies
Sonic Rob: but it just seems so silly with him
FyreHaar: we will see how much as he actually kicks, I have the feeling that Kato does most of the work while Rogen is the idea man and shoots guns
Sonic Rob: there is a shot in the trailer of him in mid-slow-mo-asskick
FyreHaar: oh I thought that was Kato
FyreHaar: because there is a large amount of bullshit to be called on that
FyreHaar: there will undoubtedly be a training montage
Sonic Rob: you don’t think he’ll just be spontaneously awesome?
FyreHaar: that would be weak
FyreHaar: super weak
FyreHaar: hella weak
FyreHaar: weak sauce
Sonic Rob: so the Green Hornet is basically Batman if Bruce Wayne seriously was the sort of drunken fratboy goober that he pretends to be?
FyreHaar: yeah
FyreHaar: it’s a comment on Batman
FyreHaar: and the loyal butler. Also on every white hero who was supported by a minority sidekick who actually did the heavy lifting
Sonic Rob: wait, how many other white heroes have a minority sidekick who does all the work?
Sonic Rob: besides Inspector Gadget?
FyreHaar: Inspector Clouseau
FyreHaar: The Lone Ranger
Sonic Rob: hold up, Clouseau’s sidekick is literally called Kato
FyreHaar: yes!
Sonic Rob: that’s double dipping there
FyreHaar: no
FyreHaar: it’s referential
Sonic Rob: you can’t parody a parody
FyreHaar: of course you can
Sonic Rob: ok, but Green Hornet can’t parody a thing that came after it
Sonic Rob: this is impossible by the laws of linear time
FyreHaar: it’s a reboot
Sonic Rob: did the original not have the same dynamic?
FyreHaar: I have no knowledge of the original
FyreHaar: I speak from a seat of ignorance
FyreHaar: Tzeentch is my master