Game Chat – Dawn of War II: Retribution

Our ongoing chat coverage of Dawn of War II: Retribution continues now that I’ve been playing for about 6 hours and have something to add to my sister’s earlier comments:

Sonic Rob: It’s funny, you know Brotherhood and Retribution are both refreshes of previous titles more than new games or even proper sequels
Sonic Rob: I’m really finding AssBro more compelling, tho
Fyrehaar: more compelling than?
Sonic Rob: than retribution
Fyrehaar: ahh
Fyrehaar: I am now very interested in the single player
Fyrehaar: each has the same missions with different plots
Fyrehaar: I want to see what it is for each of them
Sonic Rob: so far I’ve mostly been playing the marines campaign
Sonic Rob: by and large I don’t give a shit about these marines
Sonic Rob: it is really frustrating not being Poopus
Sonic Rob: Diomedes is a goddamned moron
Sonic Rob: and he is running the show
Sonic Rob: not me!
Sonic Rob: I felt like Poopus was my avatar, you know?
Sonic Rob: that’s me, in the game
Sonic Rob: Diomedes and I disagree on a lot
Sonic Rob: and he’s the one who gets to decide even tho I’m the one who paid the 40 bucks!

Continue reading Game Chat – Dawn of War II: Retribution

Chat Box: True Grit

FyreHaar: have you seen?
Sonic Rob: I have seen True Grit
Sonic Rob: ‘twas truly gritty
FyreHaar: I know that some reviews have found it stilted because of the oddly formal language
FyreHaar: but having seen “The Civil War” I know people talked like that
Sonic Rob: It’s a Coen Bros movie. Ergo, everyone talks funny
FyreHaar: I thought it set a tone
FyreHaar: it wasn’t distracting
Sonic Rob: Jeff Bridges’ toothless mumble, however…
Sonic Rob: so distracting
FyreHaar: really?
FyreHaar: I thought he was jus hella actressin
FyreHaar: His lack of clarity made me want to watch the movie at home
FyreHaar: so I could listen more carefully
Sonic Rob: uh
Sonic Rob: I don’t know if that is a plus
Sonic Rob: but I spose it will move DVDs
Sonic Rob: “Now with Cogtitles for the mumbley impaired”
FyreHaar: Did you enjoy it?
Sonic Rob: I did. It was a good western.
Sonic Rob: I liked that the bad guys were not black-and-white evil
Sonic Rob: you felt for them a bit
Sonic Rob: but not enough to make you feel bad about the good guys shooting them
Sonic Rob: just enough to enjoy the time spent with them
Sonic Rob: btw, Christoph Waltz is the best part of Green Hornet
Sonic Rob: for the same reason
Sonic Rob: he just exceeds expectations
FyreHaar: it took me quite a while to realize that Lucky Ned was Barry Pepper
FyreHaar: he was really good
Sonic Rob: I don’t know him from anywhere, so it was no big deal for me
Sonic Rob: The Baker was excited
FyreHaar: saving private ryan
FyreHaar: he was the sniper
Sonic Rob: /shrug
FyreHaar: 66*
FyreHaar: he was mickey mantle
Sonic Rob: I remember what he did, but nothing really about the actor
FyreHaar: anyways…
FyreHaar: I also enjoyed it
FyreHaar: it was very pleasing and satisfying
FyreHaar: I cried
FyreHaar: I laughed
FyreHaar: I felt gritty
Sonic Rob: The Baker’s brother was the one who pushed for us to go
Sonic Rob: he fell asleep 15 minutes in
Sonic Rob: I think he was expecting Tombstone
FyreHaar: what?
Sonic Rob: he was bored
FyreHaar: that is weak
FyreHaar: it was awesome from the get go!
Sonic Rob: the film is not for everyone
FyreHaar: grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
FyreHaar: he did not abide
Sonic Rob: I think if you go expecting O Brother Who Shot Thou rather than Die Hard 5: It’s Very Dusty you will be ok

Dead Space: Luck is Dumb, But Stupid Kills

Spoilers for Dead Space, right from the get-go. That’s how we roll.

I just finished Dead Space the other night (scaaaaary!) and I’ve been thinking a bit about the story. Specifically I was wondering, as one does, why it is that Dead Space protagonist Isaac Clarke manages to survive the events of the game when literally nobody else that we meet does.

You could argue that Isaac is tough and resourceful, and certainly I won’t argue the point. But who isn’t? Hammond is the Chief Security Officer of the USG Kellion, which you would think entails a lot more training in the arts of crisis management and combat. Kendra is a deep-cover secret agent, who would also presumably have plenty of training in fighting and survival, yet both she and Hammond are unceremoniously squished by enemies that Isaac deals with more or less handily. On top of that, the entire military crew and soldier complement of the USM Valor are wiped out – almost to the last man – by Necromorphs in the time it takes them to intercept an escape pod containing a single enemy and then to crash into the Ishimura. What has Isaac got that any of these others don’t, other than plenty of dumb luck to get him through things? Continue reading Dead Space: Luck is Dumb, But Stupid Kills

The Haul ’10: Covered in Dirty Savings

Hey Fyre,

As is rapidly becoming traditional, the end of year sales are badly outshining the Black Friday sales that kicked off the holiday feeding frenzy. I’ve managed to restrain myself – sort of. The haul below represents “self-restraint” in my world:

Bayonetta

Doc Clock: The Toasted Sandwich of Time

Iron Grip: Warlord

Machinarium

Splinter Cell: Conviction

Supreme Commander 2

Tropico 3 Special Edition

VVVVVV

I’m probably most excited for Bayonetta and Machinarium – the others were all just really good deals/targets of opportunity. What does your haul look like?
-ssr

I Watch Movies: The Warrior’s Way

The Warrior’s Way is best thought of as a live-action anime; the characters, action, and plot would all be completely at home in something like Samurai Champloo or Gungrave. In that respect it joins other live-action cowboys ‘n’ samurai adventure films such as Sukiyaki Western Django and The Good, the Bad, the Weird, both of which featured cartoonish characters and plots. The Warrior’s Way to takes the animated aesthetic to a higher level than those other two thanks to a near-constant reliance on computer-generated effects, green-screen scenery, and anime-esque action choreography; it’s also strongly reminiscent of the Star Wars prequels, at least as far as the “feel” of the picture goes. There are times, as in a fight lit only by staccato machine gun fire, where the computer-drawn vibe works out beautifully, but for the most part it has the lightweight plastic feel we’ve come to expect from movies with too much CG and not enough of anything else.

The performances are all over the board. Dong-gun Jang as good guy ninja Yang (and I had to imdb that, because I’m pretty sure nobody calls him that in the course of the movie) is impassive to the point of being inert. Geoffrey Rush makes a glorified cameo that’s completely oversold by the trailers, but spends the time he has well. Perennial “oh yeah it’s that guy” actor Danny Huston has a nicely reptilian turn as an impossibly evil army Colonel gone bandit, and Tony Cox continues to prove that you don’t need to be able to act as long as you’re a midget. Special awful credit goes to Kate Bosworth for channeling Toy Story’s Cowgirl Jessie in her portrayal of a knife-flinging rape survivor. It’s as inappropriate and ludicrous as it sounds.

All of this is tangential to the action, really, and it’s not bad. The film starts off strong with a healthy dose of Lone Wolf & Cub-style ninja/baby insanity, but goes largely talky for its second act. Once the training montages begin in earnest and the bandits start getting ready to ride into town, things pick up quite a bit. The last 20 minutes or so are a pretty constant parade of ninja/cowboy throwdowns. The Warrior’s Way is on the cusp of having not quite enough ninja goodness going on – it doesn’t top last year’s ninja champ, Ninja Assassin – but what it has is pretty high quality, especially if you dig the more cartoony vision of, say, Ninja Scroll.

-ssr

Chat Box

Sonic Rob: dude
Sonic Rob: when are you coming over for some rock band?
Sonic Rob: there are so many good songs we didn’t get to yet
Sonic Rob: Cheap Trick
Sonic Rob: Jimmy Eat World
Sonic Rob: Bikini Kill
Sonic Rob: The Libyans
FyreHaar: I thought JEW was only guitar hero?
Sonic Rob: Bleed American is
Sonic Rob: RB2 has The Middle
Sonic Rob: which is quite fun
FyreHaar: coo
FyreHaar: It’s gonna be a bit
FyreHaar: maybe next week
Sonic Rob: =(
Sonic Rob: tonight!
FyreHaar: I am working out!
Sonic Rob: Rock Band is a workout!
Sonic Rob: I cannot play it with pants on!
FyreHaar: I don’t think we should play that together then

Chat Box

Sonic Robhttp://www.dailyfinance.com/story/company-news/best-buy-cut-cds-dvds-as-google-apple-prep-for-mus/19635476/
Sonic Rob: aw
Sonic Rob: I like buying cheap DVDs
FyreHaar: Best Buy buys games?
Sonic Rob: huh?
FyreHaar: apparently they have a pre-owned game section
Sonic Rob: ok
Sonic Rob: anyway, I’m kinda bummed at the idea of not being able to grab a stack of $5 DVDs on Black Friday
Sonic Rob: but the reality is they’ll prolly just be replaced with buying a bunch of downloadable movies on some sort of Steam sale equivalent
FyreHaar: yep
Sonic Rob: I just like deals
FyreHaar: mmm
FyreHaar: deals
Sonic Rob: as long as there is capitalism
Sonic Rob: and competition
Sonic Rob: there will be opportunities for cheap-assery

I Play Video Games: Arkham Asylum

We’ll get into what’s going on with the running joke known as my review of Shadow of the Colossus another time, but for now let’s stretch the game-reviewing muscles with last year’s critical darling, roundly praised as the best comic book game ever made.

Because I’m nothing if not sensitive to the needs of our audience, I’ve taken a suggestion from the Baker and written a much shorter review than I did for Far Cry 2. However, because this is 50% my website and I ought to be able to indulge myself pretty much at will here, I’ve also written a much longer review, full of particulars that you don’t need to know about, and put it after the jump. I think everyone ought to be happy with this compromise.

Batman: Arkham Asylum

Source: Retail
Paid: $20
Play Time: ~15 hours

Batman: Arkam Asylum is one of the best third-person action games I’ve ever played. It bashes up platforming, sneaking, and brawling in a something-for-everyone formula that almost never falters, especially in the “predator rooms” where Batman uses his speed and stealth to outmaneuver the Joker’s gunmen until they begin to panic at every shadow. The story and voice acting are top-notch, and the environment is varied, convincing and fun to navigate. Character models and textures are strangely exaggerated, but the game otherwise looks gorgeous.

The boss fights are probably the weakest segments, but they’re a small part of the overall game. Arkham Asylum is a must-play for Batman fans and those who enjoy action games generally; pretty much every gamer ought to at least try the demo.

Hit the jump for the long version.

Continue reading I Play Video Games: Arkham Asylum

2nd DoW2 Expansion Announced; Rob Swears a Lot

Sonic Rob: WAAAGHHHH!!!
FyreHaar: the comments are amazing
FyreHaar: 90% of them are “yay Ork in a pirate hat, yay!”
FyreHaar: and the others are all “DOWII sucks”
Sonic Rob: looks like a Freebooterz Kaptin
Sonic Rob: fucking SC2 nubs
Sonic Rob: fuck off
Sonic Rob: I’m sorry you can’t win a match without turtling up in a base
FyreHaar: they all complain that it’s too fast or that you have to get strategic points
Sonic Rob: DOW makes you get out there and fucking fight!
FyreHaar: exactly!!!
Sonic Rob: CnB was talking about playing SC2 last night
Sonic Rob: apparently a lot of people put together a single rush
Sonic Rob: if it doesn’t work, they sit there and wait to die
FyreHaar: damn
FyreHaar: this dude is talking shit about the story line of DOW II
FyreHaar: and how he has nothing in common with a space marine
FyreHaar: of course you don’t you stupid fucker
FyreHaar: jesus
Sonic Rob: wtf?
Sonic Rob: you wanna play a RTS where the units are all fat gamers?