Dear Michael C. Hall

In re the Season 4 premiere of Dexter, the show you co-executive produce: Congratulations! Quick question: you managed to bring John Lithgow onto the cast for this season. He spends all of his screen time in the season premiere butt-ass naked. 2 seasons ago you gave us Keith “Ha, I bet you thought Wild Bill would be around longer than that” Carradine’s pale, quivering rump roast without any reciprocity from co-star Jennifer Carpenter who, to be fair, is now your wife.

So: what’s with all the middle-aged man-ass on your show?

-ssr

In Which Our Heroes Converse re: Souls, Demonic

Sonic Rob: did you read what Tycho was saying about Demon’s Souls, this RPG where you can die and then be summoned by other online players?
Sonic Rob: that sounds kinda no fun
FyreHaar: I like that being dead is just another kind of existence
Sonic Rob: but I don’t want to do what other players tell me
Sonic Rob: I mean, maybe if I can become some barely-controlled force
Sonic Rob: and they just point me at the bad guys and let me have at ’em
Sonic Rob: that could be ok
Sonic Rob: but I don’t want to be told, “ok, now you attack”
Sonic Rob: I don’t want to watch someone else play my guy, you know?
FyreHaar: yeah
FyreHaar: I think you are like caspar the friendly ghost
Sonic Rob: see, I want to be like friggin’ Samara from the Ring
Sonic Rob: like curse someone with a bad case of me and lemme go to work on ’em
FyreHaar: that would be awesome
Sonic Rob: and then give me a whole type of play where I chase you around scaring the bejesus out of you and being indestructible
Sonic Rob: I mean, make it fair
Sonic Rob: like I can only come out of TVs, or I’m slow or something

Goodbye Old Friend

Today Conde Nast announced that it will be closing down Gourmet magazine. I feel like someone just killed my aunt.

My grandmother subscribed to Gourmet, which started publication in 1941. When my mother got married, my grandmother gifted her a subscription to Gourmet until she died. That’s 1974 to 2000. There are copies of Gourmet from the 1980s that my mother used for Thanksgiving every year. They are still in the house including the one with the three chutneys on the cover that has long since ceased being meaningfully attached to the rest of the magazine. I could draw that cover from memory.

When I got married, my mom started gifting me with Gourmet. I have them piled up with the cookbooks. Some I get rid of if they are super boring or not very applicable (the Italian issue doesn’t hold a lot of appeal for a house that doesn’t eat gluten). But I read them all, cover to cover. Some really great food has come out of those magazines.

Mom and I used to talk about the latest issue. “That risotto looks good!” “Oh, with the radicchio, yeah!” We would talk about which recipes we were definitely going to make and the ones that looked delicious but way too much trouble. We would share our successes and failures in replicating the gorgeous food the magazine presented. And now that mom isn’t there to chat with anymore, I look at recipes and think “Hmmm, mom would have really liked that.”

And now even that little bit will be gone. One more piece of my life with mom taken away by a shite economy and a venal corporation.

Well thanks for nothing Conde Nast. At least we have a new cook book and the website to keep us going.

I think I hear a Saveur subscription calling my name.

-fyre

Call of Holy Crap is That Gonna Be In The Game?

The new Call of Duty 4 2 (or whatever the hell you call this game) trailer is pretty amazingly epic. Gotta admit, I was kinda taken aback at first. Don’t watch it if you care about story spoilers, because it looks like they’re blowing the whole plot open in this one:

Continue reading Call of Holy Crap is That Gonna Be In The Game?

Film Century 1.5 – 100th Film Gala Extravaganza!

Eh, I got nothin’.

Sep. 25 Surrogates – With the help of a poor man’s Jack Black and that creepy face-smoothing technology they used on Patrick Stewart in X-Men 2, Bruce Willis will murder the Internet to save his family! 97/150
Sep. 26 Whip It – Sports Movie XVII: You’re A Big Fat Pedophile, Rob. 98/150
Sep. 29 Paris – Something between fragmented and shattered. 99/150
Oct. 2 Zombieland – God bless Edgar Wright and Simon Pegg for inventing the single best genre of films ever conceived. 100/150

Chat Box

Sonic Rob: have you followed this goofy American Police Force story? The private security guys that bought a prison in Montana?
Sonic Rob: they track cheating spouses, do “covert pregnancy tests” and sell duffle bags and nuclear weapons
Sonic Rob: or claim to, anyhow
Sonic Rob: sounds to me like a Soldier of Fortune subscriber won the lottery and wrote up a very silly business plan
Sonic Rob: oh, and the CEO is a con artist from Montenegro
FyreHaar: yeah, it’s a scam
FyreHaar: who’s gonna file a fraud claim when the WMD they paid for over the internet doesn’t come in
Sonic Rob: LOL
Sonic Rob: Khaddafi’s there reading his email, wondering where his nuke is, and when that Nigerian finance minister’s widow will get back to him

Real or Imagined: Leveling up in DOW II

I am in the process of leveling all my races up to 30 in DOW on line multi-player.

Space Marines are at level 31, Orks hit 29 last night, Eldar are 13 and Tyrannids are 12.

I have played more than 400 matches of three versus three, slightly more if you include two versus two and one on one.

And I have started to feel like I am good at this. My win ratio is getting better.  I still lose and my overall 3v3 record is 196 – 284 wins to losses.  Lately I feel like I am more in control of the matches, that what I do really matters to the course of the battle.

Last night, I realized that my team mate had gotten caught up fighting in a particular spot and we were losing because of it.  He had tunnel vision and had become obsessed with fighting in one tiny section f the map. In days of yore, I might have followed and kept fighting with him.  But I saw that it was pointless and was, in fact, playing right into the defensive strategy of the other team. We were walking into their guns with no feasible counter, just going off to die for pride.

So I flanked, I left my teammate to his devices and took the fight to another location. I diverted the enemy, destroyed his defensive advantage and turned the tide of the match. I didn’t wait for permission, I didn’t doubt myself, I just did what I judged to be the best tactical decision. This sort of thing is happening more and more.  What I do seems to be critical to the outcome of the match.

At first, I thought it was having a level 30 or thereabouts army. That was what made me “better at it.” But it’s not. The troops aren’t better, they don’t have tougher armour or whatever.  It’s me, I am better. A better general.  I still mess up and get my troops wiped out (n.b. two shootas and two sluggas cannot take out a Force Commander in Terminator Armour). But my decision making is stronger and more decisive. If a tactic doesn’t work, I reevaluate. I don’t hammer the same thing over and over expecting it to work. I am constantly evaluating and adapting to the changing face of the battle.

My micro isn’t better, my troops aren’t better, I have confidence that I know how to do this. And it is making me much better at the game.  I’m fighting smarter, controlling the when and where of the skirmishes, pushing other players to react to me and generally putting my stamp on matches. We’ll see how my record is once I’ve got the Eldar and Nids up to 30 but I really think I’ve turned a corner, from noob, to player, to veteran.

-fyre

A Quick Question for Peter Molyneux

Peter Molyneux has given an interview with Edge Online wherein he talks about the decision to re-release Fable II as an episodic download, with the first 45-minute “episode” available for free:

Now, I hate demos. I think demos are the death knell of experiences. Over the years I’ve done demos and they’ve either completely ruined the game, given too much to the player, or they’ve confused people, so I said that we should give away the very first 45 minutes of the game, completely free, and just before you get to Bowerstone up comes this message saying, ‘If you want to continue playing press this button, but if you want to buy the rest of the game, press this’. So people that are interested but don’t want to commit to the full purchase can play more, and people that are into it can buy all of it, and they don’t lose experience or gold they’ve collected.

So, uh, Pete. How is that not a demo? Maybe you and I are using definitions of demo from different sides of the Atlantic or something, but last I checked, a game demo was a brief taste of the entire game that allows you to try it out and see if you want to buy the whole thing. I’ll grant that you may have streamlined the process a bit (letting people buy the product from within the demo? slick!), but what you’re describing here? A 45-minute experience that ends with a tease to get you to buy more of the game? That’s a demo, buddy.

45 minutes. Come on, man. I can get longer “episodes” of Mad Men.

-ssr

Chat Box

Sonic Rob: he had online gaming issues?
FyreHaar: he didn’t want to deal with the people
FyreHaar: when I was  like here, an FPS with no single player component

Sonic Rob: is he ok with being called a jew or whatever?
FyreHaar: I think he was doubtful
FyreHaar: he can just change server
FyreHaar: or kill the guy

Sonic Rob: haha
Sonic Rob: that is healthy