A new weekly feature on handles. Name yourself carefully lest Sonic and I mock your handle mercilessly!
To start, observations on the nature of handles. A handle is about self definition, naming yourself for an entire segment of reality. Pretty heady stuff! People go for the unique, the funny, the intimidating. Here at fns.com we appreciate the multifaceted handle. The handle that can be read and interpreted in multitudinous ways.
FyreHaar gets mispronounced a lot. I don’t trip, I knew it would be. It’s unique and fun. While I have spent decades of my life with my hair dyed in one shade of red or another it’s really a reference to the fact that I used to have an uncontrollable temper and would blow my top at the drop of a hat. It also has a smattering of viking flavor which never hurts.
SonicRob is simple, easy to say, unique and completely free of douchery. Online all you get of the Rob is his voice, his sonic representation.
This is not to say we don’t like simple handles like “jon,” “Paladin,” or “Kirby.” If you don’t have something awesome, simple is fine. Simple is much preferred to arrogant, stupid, offensive or desperate. Desperate handles are the handle where it is obvious that a gamer came up with a great handle, tried to register it and discovered that weren’t the first person to have that great idea. They then add characters various is order to lay claim to it. How about SonicRob1, Son1cRob, S0nicR0b (those are zeros), etc. Bonus douche points for using characters from another alphabet to make yourself seem more unique.
Your best handle of the week is…….
FyreHaar: what did you think of?
SonicRob: I’m not sure how to parse him
FyreHaar: that’s what I like
SonicRob: is he the hobo overlord of all, or lord of hobos?
FyreHaar: it’s got multiple facets
FyreHaar: and interpretations
FyreHaar: and is fun to say!
SonicRob: well, you can make all sorts of not-quite-gay jokes with it
SonicRob: is he hobosexual?
SonicRob:did he have a cold when he typed in his gamertag?
FyreHaar: definitely hobosexual!
SonicRob: is he really the homoverlod?
SonicRob: I am sure he gets called that all the time
SonicRob: but man, getting pwned by the homoverlord
SonicRob: it stings
The worst handle of the week is…..
FyreHaar: no fucking joke
FyreHaar: real handle
SonicRob: that’s terrible
FyreHaar: It’s so bad
FyreHaar: it’s almost beyond definition
FyreHaar: it’s like a madlibs handle
SonicRob: Revolver Ocelot is a metal gear character
SonicRob: adding Stargate to him does not double the awesome
SonicRob: I think young Ocelot may be laboring under a misapprehension