Our weekly feature on the best and worst handles that we encounter in our online gaming odysseys
Name yourself carefully lest Sonic and I mock your handle mercilessly!
Unoriginal, arrogant, kind of weak sauce
SonicRob: AAAAAAAAAAAH! That’s way scarier
FyreHaar: better in all ways!
SonicRob: gumby fucking creeps me out
FyreHaar: pokey scares the shit out of me
SonicRob: see, it’s the unexpectedness, snipers are supposed to be deathy. Come to think of it, snipers are supposed to be in fights. I wouldn’t be scared of, like, WoundSniper either. Maybe TickleSniper would be scary. DeathSniper is just redundant, he’s like a given
FyreHaar: It’s like, yeah, and??
SonicRob: “Oh, hey dude”
SonicRob: now, Gumby on the other hand, that motherfucker doesn’t belong there. That’s a problem
FyreHaar: A giant rampaging Gumby with a mace, covered in blood.
SonicRob: he’s like the little girl in the shooting range in Men In Black. If you see him there, he’s obviously the baddest motherfucker in town cause it’s a war and he’s DeathGumby, yo!
FyreHaar: I just love the juxtaposition. Deathsniper6 is weak. Deathgumby is awesome.